Spring Break Confessions, Part 2 | |
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Spring Break Confessions
an4@anon.lelnet.com
Part 2
That was it. Kristin felt she was about to drown in grand lie that was
only going to come out sooner or later and make her look and feel stupid.
She reached into her purse and slapped the pack of Marlboro Lights 100s
down on the table. Her glare made Tricia mildly uncomfortable, although her
friend was still was smiling.
'Is everyone happy now. I smoke. I've been smoking since the second week
of school. Tricia got me drunk one night and I tried it and liked it and now
I smoke half a pack or more a day.'
She sullenly took a cigarette from the pack and lit it. She took a long
angry draw on the cigarette and exhaled.
'Now is everyone happy ? Kristin is a smoker.'
'Honey, what are you so upset about ?' Donna asked. 'All you had to do
was tell us.'
'You should talk,' Derek said, loudly enough so that everyone could hear
him.
Not noticing her father's remark, Kristin looked at Tricia. 'I made
Tricia promise not to tell you. I was afraid you might be upset. But I
guess,' she wiped a silly tear from her cheek, drew on her cigarette, and
smiled. 'I'm glad she did everything but tell you. You're sure that you
don't have a problem with it ?'
Donna patted her hand again. 'Not at all. In fact.' She pulled her own
cigarettes from her purse and lit one without speaking.
'Mom ? how long have you been smoking ?'
'She started again the day you left. Said the stress of you leaving was
too much.'
'But that was just an excuse. I've been a closet smoker all your life,
honey. Remember those pictures from when daddy and I were dating and first
married where I was smoking.'
'You said you only smoked back then because dad smoked and never really
liked it.'
'That sounds like a little white lie to me,' Tricia said, noticing how
much Donna seemed to be enjoying her cigarette.
'No, it was just a plain old lie. Like a lot of women, I quit smoking
when I found out I was pregnant, and then once I had a child, it didn't seem
right to start again. I mean, I never really gave it up entirely. Parties,
the occasional cigarette at work, that sort of thing.'
'Is that why you were always so anxious to get me sent away to summer
camp ?'
'You loved summer camp- but yes, I always looked forward to those two
weeks when I could smoke freely. I'm not going to lie about it now.'
'What about Christmas ? I was home for three weeks !'
'Fortunately I only had that one week off. So I was free to smoke at
work, take a shower at the end of the day in the deserted locker room, and
come home smelling all smoke-free.'
'She snuck around like a teenager,' Derek said with a smile.
'I don't think I was the only one. I remember you coming in several
nights and telling me you were all smoky because you'd been hanging out with
Robyn.'
'Well, Robyn does smoke, Mom.'
'I bet she told her parents, too.'
'Yes, she did. But she started smoking before she went away to college, not
after. But I did smoke while I was out with her. So we were both sneaking
around. Seems silly now.'
'Yes it does.'
Before they could pursue that, Ms. Parker came over to the table. Mark had
headed out to get the car, but Gloria wanted to say hello to Kristin.
She was standing there, a just lit VS 120 in her left hand. She drew on it
sensuously, exhaled, and put her free hand on Kristin's shoulder.
'Derek. Donna. Nice to see you.' She turned her attention to Kristin.
'How's my favourite Vassar student ? My alma mater treating you well ?'
'Yes, it is,' Kristin said, feeling a little awkward with a cigarette in her
own hand.
'I see you've learned at least one thing at school.'
'Yes. But I didn't know that you smoked, Ms. Parker.'
'Please- you're a Vassar girl now, so call me Gloria. Well, I just
started again recently. A little incident with my yearbook.'
'Your yearbook ?'
'Yeah. I have to tell this story quickly. I don't want to keep Mark
waiting. Not that he can't be patient but- anyway, my yearbook is the reason
I quit smoking and the reason I started again. You see, I smoked for two
years in high school. I was also co-editor of my high school yearbook senior
year. There was an unfortunate incident involving Teresa's boyfriend becoming
my boyfriend the summer before senior year. I guess she decided on her
revenge early on. When we divided up responsibilities, one of the areas she
took was candids. Well, as the deadline approached for proofs, the one
section that just never seemed finished was candids. The way we worked it,
one of us would lay out each section and then run it by the other as a sort
of courtesy. I thought- especially considering what had happened over the
summer, that Teresa and I were working together really well. She was always
positive about everything I did.'
Gloria paused to smoke. She was holding her cigarette up by her face,
long and all white, very elegant. She turned her head so that her lips met
the tip, surrounded it with her full lips, and drew deeply. She then reached
out and trimmed into an ashtray by Kristin. Her nose exhale drifted over the
Kristin and Kristin found herself awash in Gloria's enticing smoke.
'But for some reason the candids were never ready. She claimed that she
was still having more pictures taken and that it was very difficult laying
out six pages from the hundreds of pix that she had. The truth was, she knew
that my parents had no idea I smoked- because I stupidly told her that. The
night before the final deadline she sealed up the proofs for those pages and
mailed them out. I never saw them until the yearbooks came out in March. When
I opened up the yearbook I was mortified, because naturally my parents were
almost as excited about the yearbook coming out as I was. Anyway, I was able
to dodge them for almost a whole week, but finally I had to hand it over to
them. There were five pictures of me in the candids section and I was smoking
in every one of them. They grounded me for the rest of the school year and
threatened not to pay the other half of my tuition from Vassar- I was on
half-scholarship and had about 200 dollars in the bank, so there was no
question about doing what they said. I was furious, because they are both
smokers, but they did a good job of scaring the crap out of me.'
'So how did you end up smoking again ?' Kristin asked.
'Well, Mark was over at my apartment two weeks ago and he saw my yearbook
on the coffee table. He picked it up and when he got to the candids section
his jaw just kind of dropped. '˜You used to smoke ?' he asked, and the tone
in his voice was like I had done something wrong, which was hard to
understand as he was sitting there with a cigarette in his hand. '˜You sound
like I did something wrong-'˜ I said, teasing and he looked at me dead
serious. '˜Well, you obviously quit.' Turns out that Mark is- well,
attracted- to women smoking. He took my hand and practically dragged me out
to the car. We went down to the corner store and he bought me a pack of
Virginia Slims 120's and I've been smoking ever since.'
'Did you start smoking again just for him ?' Derek asked, and Kristin
realised that her dad was the same way. No wonder Mom had started smoking
again.
'Oh no. I mean, I let myself think at first that was why, but the truth
is as soon as I took that first drag I was hooked. Ten years is a long time, b
ut when I think back, well, I wish I had never quit.'
'Have you told your parents ?' Donna asked.
'Actually, I just told my mom last night.'
'How'd she take it ?'
'Her exact words were '˜What took you so long ?' Then she apologized. She
told me that was the hardest thing they'd ever done, but it had seemed like
the right thing at the time. I'll get over it, but it did cause me to miss
out on a lot of things. I mean, at Vassar I made sure all my friends were
non-smokers. I imagine some of them are going to be shocked when they find
out. She said they never really expected me to quit, and they weren't serious
about taking away my education.'
'I was afraid to tell mom and dad for the same the reason,' Kristin said.
'Well, I'm glad to see that your parents are more open-minded.'
'I have Tricia to thank for that,' Kristin said. Kristin introduced her
roommate and briefly mentioned that she was the one who'd gotten Kristin to
try smoking.
'I wish I'd had a friend like you at Vassar. Anyway, it's been great
talking to you, but I have to run. Keep in touch. Send me some email and let
me know what's happening at Vassar.'
She left in a trail of smoking. Her story made Kristin feel a lot more
relaxed about smoking and also gave her a new appreciation for her parents.
'I love you guys,' she said spontaneously.
'What took so long ?' Mark asked, but without aggravation.
'Oh, I wanted to say hello to the Kelly's.'
'How'd that go ? I'd have stayed and said hi, but I'm in an hurry to
get you out of that dress.'
Gloria punched him playfully on the shoulder, finished her cigarette and
stubbed it out in the ashtray.
'I was just telling them about my smoking history.'
'Now I really wished I had stayed.'
'You don't mind me telling people that you're attracted to my smoking,
do you ?'
He laughed. 'Of course not. I have a beautiful girlfriend and anyone who
watches you smokes can see how hot you are. I can't be the only one who
enjoys it. How many anonymous notes have you gotten from smitten boys since
you started smoking again ?'
'A few.' Gloria blushed. She certainly had noticed an upswing in male
interest since she'd started smoking again, in part because she was not
afraid to light up on the campus in appropriate places.
'Did you know that Kristin smokes ?'
'Really ?' Mark said, trying not to sound too interested in this
development. 'She didn't smoke when she was at the school.'
'I guess she started when she went off to Vassar. Some girls have all the
luck. Now how about a kiss ?'
He shook his head. 'You know the rules, dear.'
'You and your little fetish.'
She took a cigarette from the pack, lit it and filled the cabin of the
car with her smoke.
'Happy ?' she asked.
'Yes,' he said, and kissed her deeply.
When they broke the kiss, she inhaled deeply and held the smoke. They
kissed again and she pushed the smoke into his mouth. He breathed it in
without breaking the kiss, and exhaled through his nose. They broke the kiss
and Gloria inhaled again, blowing smoke in his eager face. He drank it in and
then drew on his own cigarette.
'You missed the whole scene. Just after you got up, Kristin admitted that
she'd started smoking. I guess Donna hadn't told her that she'd been smoking
ever since she went off to Vassar. It was a total smoking event. You would
have loved it.'
He stroked her face with his hand. 'Do you think it's weird ?'
She smiled and patted his hand. 'No. Actually, I thought it was pretty
interested. I mean- well, it's funny. When we started dating, I kind of-
well, you're going to think this is silly, but I resented the fact that you
smoked.'
'I thought so. You always seemed a little weird about it. I mean, you
never said anything, but I could sense you tense up every time I lit a
cigarette.'
'I never really got over the way my parents made me quit, and yet-'
'And yet you didn't start again when you graduated.'
'Well, you know, I got into graduate school on a full scholarship, so
money wasn't an issue- although Mom told me last night that was just an
hollow threat. But none of my friends smoked and I didn't want to be the
oddball. It got to a point where I had been a non-smoker so much longer than
I had been a smoker. In a way I was kind of surprised when you asked me out
and I said yes.'
She paused to draw on her cigarette.
'I was too.'
'If you're so attracted to women who smoke, why did you ask me out ?'
Mark laughed his charming laugh, took a pull on his own cigarette, and
trimmed out his open window.
'I only date two types of women- smokers and potential smokers.'
'But you had no reason to think I would smoke.'
'Sure I did- you said yes. If you had said no, I'd have dropped it. But
when you said yes- knowing that I smoke- I took that as a signal that you
might be willing to smoke yourself. Now tell me, how long had we been dating
before you started to think about it ?'
'Two dates. Which is why I left my yearbook out. I couldn't bring myself
to start again on my own, but I thought you might see me smoking and have it,
well, trigger something. Don't take this the wrong way, but I've seen you
hanging out with the senior girls who use the smoking area-'
'˜You have to love private schools,' he said with a smile, 'but you know
I'm just enjoying the view, right ?' he asked, serious.
'I know that. You may have this fetish, but you can always tell the
lookers from the pervs. I know you might get a little stiff watching those
girls smoke but you would never do anything about it. And now I enjoy hanging
out with you and them as well.'
'Are you saying that you like watching other women smoke ?' he asked.
'I- well, not the same way, but yeah. I like being around those girls.
They're cool and confident and it's a lot of fun. And I found myself very
interested in the little scene tonight, the way Kristin finally cracked and
told her parents that she was smoking. She was so furious when she took the
cigarettes from her purse. But when she lit up, it was like she changed from
this angry college freshman to this self-assured woman holding a long white
cigarette in her hand. When I saw the way she drew on her cigarette and the
smoke came pouring out of her mouth all I could think was '˜wow, that's
cool.' And '˜why didn't I do that ?''
'You know what I think ?'
'No, what do you think ?'
'I think you have the fetish too.'
'Maybe I do,' Gloria said, 'maybe I do.'
'Do you ever play with yourself in front of the mirror when you're
smoking ?'
'Mark !'
He reached out and started stroking her nipple. 'Come on, be honest.'
'Do you ?'
'No, but I don't like watching other guys smoke. I like watching women
smoke. I do rent movies just because there's great smoking in them, though.
Be honest. A little nipple stroking while-'
'Yes,' Gloria said. 'Just a little.'
'You know, I'd love to see that.'
Gloria pushed him. 'If you are around, I expect you to do the
nipple-stroking- and that's not all I expect, either.'
'Well, we'll see about that. But you know what I mean. You have it, too,
and you have it for watching women smoke. Just like me. That is so fucking
cool.'
'So tell me what good movie we can rent and get off on-'
He made a few suggestions and they drove off.
Robyn got up and went over to her dresser and picked up the pack of
Marlboro Lights 100s sitting there. She took a cigarette from the pack and loo
ked into the mirror. She brought the cigarette to her mouth with her right
hand, passing the cigarette along her nose, smelling it and enjoying the
scent of the unlit tobacco. She then placed it between her lips and brought
the lighter to the tip and lit it.
She moved her other hand away, drew on the lit cigarette, and exhaled
through her nose.
'God, I love this,' she said to herself.
She sat back down at her desk, opened An American Tragedy, and picked up
where she'd left off.
A few moments later, her older sister Anna walked into her room.
'Are you ready to go ?' she asked petulantly.
'Yes.'
'Are you and Kristin going to smoke all night ?'
'Yes we are, and so is Kristin's roommate Tricia. It's going to be a
great time. Why don't you invite Sybil to come with us ? You're always
saying that you really like Sybil but you don't like going out with her alone
because she insists on smoking. We're going to be smoking anyway. So it's
the perfect'
'You just want me to invite Sybil because you have the hots for her,'
Anna said.
'So. Kill two birds with one stone. Since she can't have you, maybe
she'll settle for me- at least I like other girls.'
'My sister the lesbian smoker,' Anna said, but she said it with a smile.
'Why not ? Maybe you'll get lucky.'
Does Robyn get lucky ? Find out in Parts III and IV- Anna 120.
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