Stephanie's Story, Part 2

Stephanie's Story
Part 2 of 3

   After Diane left, I sat at the kitchen table with another cup of coffee
thinking about how much I liked having a friend again, thinking about how
lonely I had been, thinking about my situation with three little kids.  As I
looked at the other coffee cup, half filled with about 20 cigarette butts and
the dirtiest water I could imagine, I thought about smoking.  I still didn't
know why I started earlier in the day.  Maybe it was to gain Diane's
acceptance or to have something in common with her or to help me lose weight.
Maybe it was a little of each.  Whatever, I definitely liked the way smoking
made me feel -- not just the calming effect when smoking but the whole change
in my attitude.  I felt like a bad girl, a wild party girl, a rebel, like I
was breaking out of the shell I had put myself in always trying to be the
best at everything and trying to please everyone.  I had to be the best
daughter, the best student, the best swimmer, the best wife and mother.
Enough of that, I thought.  Now I'm going to please myself first.  

   I picked up the fresh gold and white pack of cigarettes Diane had left and
examined it.  Marlboro 100's, the label read.  I had never looked at a pack
up close.  I read the warning label and thought it didn't apply to me, only
to career smokers.  Diane was probably right about the medical advances and
the probability of a cure for cancer.  Anyway, I was only smoking until I
lost my 30 pounds.  I opened the pack and put a cigarette in the corner of my
mouth.  I watched the cigarette bounce up and down as I spoke to the kids
across the room in their playpen.  I liked the way it felt in my lips and I
wondered what I looked like with a cigarette hanging from my lips.  I went
into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror.  It didn't even look like
me.  I was transformed into a sultry vixen.  I couldn't believe how sexy the
cigarette hanging loosely from the corner of my mouth made me look and feel.
I played with the cigarette seeing how it looked in different parts of my
mouth.  I decided that a cigarette hanging from the very corner with my lips
parted was my sexiest look.  But what good will it do me, I thought.  Don
would have a fit if he knew I was smoking. 

   I walked back into the kitchen, picked up the lighter and lit up.  I took
several huge drags before removing the cigarette from my lips.  I looked at
the cigarette in my fingers and tried to act natural and casual as I held it.
Smoke was coming off both ends of the cigarette as I raised it to my lips for
another drag.  I pulled in as much smoke as I could and held it inside until
my lungs ached for fresh air.  There was that mellow buzz again.  I was
loving everything about smoking, just like Diane had said.  Just then one of
the twins started to cry and I went over to pick him up.  As I reached down,
I realized I had a lit cigarette in my hand.  I automatically put the
cigarette between my lips, again just like Diane had said when she told me I
didn't have enough hands to smoke and take care of three little ones.  I
realized he was probably hungry so I opened my robe and let him suck milk
from my breast.  I stood there feeding my baby, squinting through the smoke
and trying to keep the lit end away from his head.  By the time he satisfied
his hunger, the cigarette between my lips had burned down to the filter and
had gone out with a two-inch long ash on the end of the filter.  I set him
back in the playpen and removed the soggy butt from my lips and dropped it
into the cup with the other filters.  

   I sat back down to finish my coffee and wondered how long I was supposed
to wait between cigarettes.  Diane seemed to wait about ten minutes but I
thought fifteen sounded like a good waiting time for a beginner.  I watched
the clock and waited.  I looked at the plate of cookies I had set out for
Diane and me earlier in the day.  I poured another cup of coffee and waited.
Finally, after ten minutes I decided that was long enough and took out
another cigarette and put it in my mouth to get comfortable holding it with
my lips.  I could no longer sit and look at the cookies.  I decided the
fifteen-minute time limit was stupid and lit the cigarette.  I decided that I
was going to smoke whenever I wanted when I was alone.  Then the same thought
hit me again.  What was going to happen when Don returned home in two weeks?
I knew I wouldn't be able to smoke around him.  Oh well, two weeks was a
long time off and I was smoking mainly to lose weight anyway.  I picked up
the plate of cookies and dumped them in the garbage can.

   Over the course of the afternoon and evening, I smoked a cigarette
whenever I was hungry, lonely, depressed or when I just felt like it.
Whenever one of the twins dirtied his diaper, I lit a cigarette before
attempting to change it.  Then, with my cigarette hanging from the corner of
my mouth, I continually exhaled through my nose to kill the poop smell.
After I put the kids to bed, I decided to take a hot bath and unwind from the
day of constantly taking care of the kids.  I had two more cigarettes while I
laid back and totally relaxed in the tub.  This was good as it is going to
get for the next few years, I thought.

   The next morning, I was awakened by the twin's howling over the baby
monitor.  I knew that meant more dirty diapers and twins sucking on my tits.
As I walked through the kitchen towards the nursery, I spotted the pack of
cigarettes on the kitchen table, remembering how smoking helped kill the
awful smell of dirty diapers.  There was no worse smell than a dirty diaper
the first thing in the morning.  I was surprised to find only three more left
in the pack.  Oh well, Diane will be over at about ten.  These three
cigarettes will last me until then I thought.  If I was going on a
diaper-changing mission, I was going to do it with a cigarette in the corner
of my mouth and smoke pouring out my nostrils.  

   Diane called at about ten to say she would be late because she had to run
to the grocery store.  She asked if I needed anything while she was out.  I
told her that I needed lettuce for the c-s diet and that I had smoked the
last of my cigarettes two hours ago and would like another pack.  She said
that at the rate I smoked the pack she left yesterday, I needed more than a
pack.

Diane finally showed up at about eleven with her girl under one arm, a big
bag of supplies under the other and her ever-present cigarette hanging from
the corner of her lips.  She didn't have to throw the butt on the lawn this
time because my house was now a smoking permitted zone.  She walked in to the
kitchen and set down the girl, took the cigarette out of her mouth only long
enough to flick the long ash in the sink and stick it back in her mouth.  She
started rummaging through the supply bag and came out with a gold and white
carton of Marlboro 100's and handed it to me.  "Happy smoking, your first
carton is on me."  

I opened the carton and the first pack as fast as I could.  I lit the
cigarette and took three hard drags before removing it from my mouth but I
didn't exhale.  I wanted to get to the relaxing buzz as quickly as I could.
Diane said she had never seen anyone take to smoking like I had.  I told her
I never did anything half way.  I told her that I had an obsessive nature,
like with drinking coffee, I normally have about twenty cups a day.  Or with
snacking, I snacked enough to add thirty pounds pretty quickly, pregnancy not
withstanding.   I guess I was the same way with smoking.  I was now
determined to lose my extra weight and smoking was going to be my ticket.

Over the next ten days, I was very encouraged by losing twelve pounds.  My
face no longer looked fat and my body was returning to shape.  I was able to
skip entire meals or just have a small salad like Diane said I would just by
chain-smoking whenever I got hungry.  Sometimes I would have to smoke about
ten cigarettes in a row when I was getting really hungry but I was able to
skip meals or avoid snacking.

Diane taught me a lot about smoking during those ten days.  Diane and I
practiced our French inhales constantly until it became second nature.  I
could do dangling French inhales better than Diane after a few days.  I
especially liked to inhale and exhale through my nose while I changed
diapers.  The baby-poop smell was becoming negligible as I desensitized my
sense of smell.  I became very comfortable dangling a cigarette from my lips
while I nursed or played with the kids, worked around the house, put on
makeup or just lounged around.  I really liked watching myself smoke in the
bathroom mirror.  I still couldn't believe how sexy I looked with a
cigarette hanging loosely from the corner of my mouth.  I loved to feel the
warm smoke drift up my face and into my eyes.  Diane said her eyes were
immune to smoke and mine were quickly getting the same way.  I could now
smoke an entire cigarette without taking it out of my mouth.  I would stand
over the bathroom sink with a cigarette dangling and see how long I could get
an ash before it broke off and fell into the sink.  I would masterbate while
watching myself smoke.   Diane had said that for many people, there was a
link between sex and smoking.  I was discovering that I was one of those
people.  I didn't know if it was my new bad girl image when smoking or the
way I looked but I was definitely turned on by my smoking style.

It was now Friday afternoon, and Don was due home in four hours.  I was
afraid that my smoking experience was coming to an end because I knew how Don
would react.  I wasn't ready to break the news to him yet that I had become
a smoker.  I might be able sneak over to Diane's house now and then or have
a few during the day while Don was at work.  Definitely not like I had in the
past ten days.  I picked up the last pack of the two cartons I had smoked
over the last ten days and found that there were only two cigarettes left.
That was perfect.  I would smoke those two while I cleaned the house and then
dispose of the evidence.  I would flush the butts from my coffee cup ashtrays
down the toilet, hide the empty cigarette packs in the garbage, spray air
freshener around the house, shower and brush my teeth about 100 times.  Diane
and I had smoked the house up pretty well that day and I could blame any
lingering odor on her.  I would be the perfect wife again.  

I was standing at the kitchen sink washing the dishes with my last cigarette
hanging from the corner of my mouth.  All of a sudden I felt a hand on my
shoulder.  My heart stopped as I quickly turned around with a pan in one hand
and a dishrag in the other.  It was Don.  He had come home three hours early.
I knew I was in big trouble.  He reached up and pulled the cigarette from my
lips as a long ash fell to the kitchen floor.  I tried to speak but nothing
came out.  I thought he was going to hit me but instead, he clamped his lips
on mine and gave me a long tender kiss.  His tongue was in my mouth and he
was making moaning sounds.  Then he stopped and said, "I love you.  You
smell and taste delicious.  Smoke for me."   He reinserted the cigarette in
the corner of my mouth.  

I was still too confused and stunned to speak.  I started to take a long drag
on the cigarette and set the pan and dishrag on the counter behind me.  As I
raised my hand to remove the cigarette, Don caught my hand and pulled it down
to his crotch.  He was rock hard.  I had my mouth full of smoke and our faces
were less than a foot apart.  I decided to go with the situation and parted
my lips and slowly French-inhaled the big mouthful of smoke.  Don's hands
were pulling down my shorts and panties as I slowly exhaled through my nose
and started another drag.  I found myself undoing his belt and lowering his
pants.  Before I fully comprehended the situation, Don was inside me.  We
were both pumping away as fast as we could, Don in me and me exhaling a
continuous flow of thick smoke from my nose as I sucked more through my mouth
with each breath.  I opened my eyes to see that my cigarette had a two-inch
long red ash on it that extended almost to the filter.  My lips were burning
but I kept sucking more smoke in with each breath.  My body was beginning to
shake and glow.  I was having my first orgasm with Don inside me.  Until
then, I had only been able to get myself off, but this feeling was much
stronger and deeper.  I continued to shake until well after Don came with his
strongest orgasm ever.  We just stood there looking lovingly into each
other's eyes for about a minute.  Finally Don said, "You have never looked
sexier.  I love you."  

My burned out cigarette had gone dead in the corner of my mouth.  As I
removed it, the long ash fell between us and crashed on whatever clothes we
still had on.  "I didn't want you to find out about my smoking like this,"
I said.  "Diane got me to try it as a way to lose weight.  I was only doing
it while you were out of town.  I lost twelve pounds.  Could you tell?  I'm
quitting smoking.  That was my last one.  Most of the cigarette smoke in here
is from Diane.  She was over for most of the day.  I'm sorry Don.  I know
how much you hate smoking."  I kept babbling on and not making much sense
even to myself.  

He said I did look like I had lost a lot of weight and that if I wanted to
smoke it was ok.  I didn't fully believe him though and quickly affirmed my
decision to quit then and there.  Nothing more was said about my smoking.  We
talked about his trip and how much we missed each other while I cleaned up my
ashtray cup and sprayed the house.

Later that evening, after dinner, with the kids tucked into bed I was going
crazy for a cigarette.  I was shaky and irritable and all I could think about
was smoking.  I was trying to think up some excuse to go over to Diane's
house so I could sneak a smoke.  I realized that this was not going to work
so I finally told Don how desperate I was for a cigarette, how badly I felt
about starting and how dependent I had become so quickly.  Don said he would
run out to the store and get me a pack of cigarettes.  I told him Marlboro
100's but 1 pack wouldn't be enough to get me through the weekend.  

About a half-hour later, Don returned home with a big bag.  I took the bag
from him and dumped the contents out on the kitchen table -- three cartons of
Marlboro 100's, four large ashtrays and a Bic lighter.  He said he loved me
more than ever and was incredibly turned on when he saw me smoking before.
He said he wanted me to feel comfortable smoking as much as I wanted anytime
and anywhere.  I hugged and kissed him deeply then tore into the first pack
of one carton.  In a second I had one in my mouth and was scrambling for the
new lighter.  I lit up and triple pumped it but I held the smoke in as long
as I could.  I let the remaining smoke come out of my nose as I took a double
drag before removing the cigarette from my lips.  I attacked the rest of the
cigarette and finished it in less than two minutes.  Don watched my desperate
act intently but didn't say anything.  I was still in my final exhale when
Don turned my face up to his and gave me a long tender kiss and told me that
he loved me.  This was all the confirmation I needed.  I immediately lit a
second cigarette and picked up my pack, lighter and one of the ashtrays.  I
turned to Don and, with my cigarette bouncing between my lips only inches
from his face in my new very bad girl style, said "Lets go watch some TV
before we go to bed, Sweetheart."  

I took his hand and led him to the family room.  I was still suffering from
nicotine deprivation so I continued to inhale fresh smoke with each breath.
Smoke poured out of my nose and trailed behind me as I pulled Don along with
me.  I led him back to the sofa and sat down in his lap.  Over the next hour,
I must have chain-smoked about ten cigarettes sitting in his lap.  After each
one he would turn me around and give me another big French kiss and tell me
how much he was turned on by how I tasted and smelled.  I was so relieved
that he accepted the new me and my smoking habit.  For the past several days
I had so much anxiety about having to quit or sneak around behind his back to
get my nicotine fix.  I loved smoking.  I loved the act of lighting up, the
taste of the fresh smoke, the filling of my lungs and the warm glowing
feeling that came over me. I loved to play with the cigarette in my mouth and
look down at the red smoking tip as I inhaled and exhaled.  I loved the feel
of a cigarette bouncing between my lips as I was talking.  I loved to feel
the warm smoke drift up my face and into my nose and eyes.  I was always
thinking about my next cigarette even while I was still smoking the current
one.  

We were both getting pretty turned on after the hour of TV and all the
kissing and we decided to go to the bedroom.  I went in first and was in the
bathroom squeezing some toothpaste onto my brush when Don came in.  "That
won't be necessary tonight," he said.  "I want to taste you, not your
toothpaste."  

He was holding my cigarettes and a fresh ashtray.  He took one out and fitted
it into the corner of my mouth.  "You mean its ok to smoke in the bedroom
too?" I questioned.

He held the lighter to my cigarette.  "Its not only alright, it's
mandatory," he said.  "I have never been so turned on as I have been since
first seeing you at the sink with a cigarette hanging from your lips.  Making
love to you this afternoon was the most intense experience of my life.  I was
so turned watching you smoke while we were watching TV that I came in my
pants.  I don't know why I am so turned on by seeing you smoke but I am and
I don't want you to ever quit.  I have always loved you for the great person
you are but smoking adds an incredibly sexy side to you."

I still had the cigarette in my mouth as we undressed each other in the
bathroom.  I looked at myself in the mirror and again became more aware of
how sexy I did look with a cigarette hanging from the corner of my mouth.  I
remembered masterbating in that same place a few days earlier as I watched
myself smoke.  I realized that we were both very turned on by my smoking.
Sex was going to be much different from now on.  

I must have smoked an entire pack in bed that night because halfway through
our love making session, Don had to go get me a fresh pack of Marlboro 100s.
I can't remember how many times I came but I know Don did it four times.
The most he had ever come before was twice.  He liked it best with me on top
smoking hands-free as fast and as deeply as I could.  Long chunks of ash
broke off my cigarettes and fell on his chest.  Most of the time, I would
finish my cigarette before we came but I just left the burned out stub
between my lips until we finished.  After each time he would take the old
filter from my lips and we would kiss for about a minute.  Then he would get
out a new cigarette, put it in my mouth and hold the lighter for me.  

After our second time, he bet me that he could get hard again before I smoked
three more cigarettes.  I was always up for a challenge so I said ok whoever
loses has to get up and change diapers in the morning.  I lay back on the
pillow with my first cigarette sticking straight up from my lips and started
to continually inhale in my mouth and exhale through my nose.  Don started
kissing me on my cheeks and the sides of my lips while I smoked furiously
with the cigarette constantly in my mouth.  He was working himself over with
his hand and I knew I had to smoke faster.  I stubbed out my first smoke when
I reached the filter and quickly took out two fresh Marlboros.  Diane told me
that she liked to smoke two at once but I had never tried it.  I put one in
each corner of my mouth and lit them.  I lay back on the pillow figuring Don
would have a hard time kissing me with my cigarettes now protecting the sides
of my face.  He moved down to my breasts and started to suck some milk from
them.  I tried to exhale as much smoke as I could through my nose, between my
two dangling cigarettes and into his face but that only intensified his
efforts.  I was down to the last half inch of tobacco and my lips were
getting too hot from the long red coals I had created.  I had to stop sucking
on my cigarettes while they cooled down a little.  That was all the time Don
needed as he slid inside me again and declared himself the winner.  By the
time we both came, the cigarettes in my mouth had gone dead and ashes were
all over my face and the pillows.  Don removed the old cigarette butts from
my mouth and actually licked the ashes from my face.  I was incredibly turned
on by his kisses after that.  I could taste the ashes on his tongue.  I
started to see how erotic a cigarette-tasting kiss could be.  After that I
was never again self-conscious about how I smelled or tasted while kissing
Don.

The next morning came way too soon.  I heard the babies on the monitor and
cursed to myself.  I knew there would be diapers to change and all the rest
of the daily duties to take care of.  I sat up in bed and looked around in
the morning light.  Don was still sleeping soundly.  His alarm clock
wouldn't even go off for another hour.  The sheets looked like they had been
through a war.  There were gray cigarette ashes all over and even a few holes
where hot ashes had fallen.  My ashtray was filled to the brim with burned
out filters and there beside the ashtray was my pack of cigarettes.  My mouth
tasted like shit after smoking about 30 cigarettes last night alone but the
thought of the awaiting baby diapers made me reach for my cigarettes.  I lit
one and left it in my mouth as I found my robe and slippers.  I smoked that
first cigarette of the day as deeply as I could with hardly any exhaled
smoke.  I was starting to come alive as the nicotine swept over me.  I sat
back down on the edge of the bed and finished off my cigarette.  I knew one
cigarette wouldn't be enough so I lit a second from the butt of the first.
Then, of course, I finished off the "best part" of the first one with a
triple inhale and dropped it in the ashtray to smolder since there was no
room to crush it out.  I stuck my second cigarette in the corner of my mouth
and headed off for diaper duty and a day of smoking pleasure.      

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