Serena, Part 2

Serena, Part 2
puffery@prodigy.com

Drinking and cussing came completely naturally but smoking took a 
little more focus.  Over the next few days Nevey (From that day on I 
dropped the Aunty crap) showed me the ropes.  Like I said, I was 
always a good student, particularly when I wanted to be which made 
learning to smoke a real breeze.  I was inhaling respectably within 
the first week.  While I can't say that I liked the taste very much, 
the whole idea was just so cool.  With Nevey I could play adult even 
if, perhaps because, my playmate often wasn't one herself.

For the next two years I spent more of my free time with Neve than 
with anyone else.  Over time, I virtually moved in with her.  Uncle 
Rod was gone a lot and he was such a complete asshole anyway.  I saw 
him hit her more than once and threatened to call the cops on him, so 
at least when I was around things weren't as violent.  My folks never 
once complained about where I was even given how they loathed Neve.  
I'm sure my absences assuaged any guilt they might of had about 
neglect, that is if they even noted how frequently I was gone. 

That first summer the smoking thing didn't really kick in big-time.  
I'd have two or maybe three cigarettes a day, five at the outside if 
we got in to the wine, and if I missed a day or two it was no big 
deal.  I even went off to a two week Lutheran summer camp without any 
repercussions.  When school started I wasn't smoking anymore than I 
had during the summer but still there was a subtle change.  The idea 
of smoking started to become a little more important to me.  I'd 
think about a cigarette, I guess want a cigarette, at kind of random 
times, not just when I was with Neve.  Fortunately though it wasn't 
usually in the morning which was good 'cause many nights I still 
slept at home.  But I usually made it to Neve's pretty damn quickly 
after school to have a cigarette and maybe a little glass of wine too.
  That afternoon cigarette now tasted pretty damn good.  It almost 
always took precedent over hanging with my friends.

By Spring there was no longer such a thing as a smoke free day.  Even 
if it sometimes wasn't until after dinner, I'd always get over to 
Nevey's for at least a couple of cigarettes.  That set the scene for 
the next summer when things really started to accelerate.  Neve was 
going through even more shit with Rod so I really spent a lot of time 
doing hand holding crap and in the process we'd sit there and smoke.  
She was also taking more four hour midday shopping trips, routinely 
returning with only a smile.  

Either way, Nevey home or Nevey gone, the occasions to smoke just 
seemed to multiply.  If she was there we'd smoke together.  If she 
wasn't, I'd probably be on the phone with a cigarette in hand.  At 
first I'd kind of cover the receiver every time I took a puff but 
eventually my closest friends recognized that I was smoking and I 
think kind of envied me."  

Blushing just a bit she added "Now that I think about it, it was on 
some of those phone calls that my free hand started exploring.  I can 
remember distinctly the day I was talking to my friend Jill with the 
phone resting on my shoulder, cigarette in my left hand, and 
seriously masturbating with my right.  As my breathing became more 
pronounced she became genuinely worried and when I told her I was 
going to have to hang up now she nearly freaked.  When I called her 
back a few minutes later and explained, she really did freak.  Later 
that summer she started dropping by Nevey's and soon became a smoker 
too.  Whether also a masturbator I can't say.  Well actually I could, 
but I won't.       

The net was that as the summer progressed much of the original 
novelty of smoking was already wearing off and it was beginning to 
just feel like a natural thing that I did.  Sometimes I'd find a lit 
cigarette in my hand and not even remember lighting it.  When summer 
had begun four or five cigarettes a day had been routine but before 
long even a half a pack wasn't uncommon - truth be known, probably on 
the light side by the end of the summer. 

By this time, while Nevey was still my sole supplier, I was no longer 
technically just bumming.  I'd take full packs of Nevey's Salem's 
from the multiple cartons she'd always keep in the pantry.  I 
wouldn't take them out of the house but I'd treat them like mine by 
keeping them in my room, the guest bedroom that is.  Of course that 
was fine by her.  She even seemed to get a childish kick out of 
telling me to keep my hands off of her smokes and stick to my own.  

Later that summer, I guess in some identity search, her chiding 
actually led me to switch brands to Benson and Hedges - they just 
seemed more sophisticated somehow - and she was more than happy to 
stock them for me.  In retrospect, I think anything that deepened my 
addiction pleased her and having my own brand was certainly another 
step.  In the end it didn't matter all that much anyway.  Like any 
good addict, in a pinch we were both willing to smoke either brand.  
I mean how many different ways can you combine nicotine, tar, and 
menthol anyway? 

As that summer unfolded I also started being a little less cautious 
about when and where I smoked.  Originally it'd just been in the 
kitchen but now I'd smoke anywhere around the house or yard.  The 
truth was that I really didn't give a shit if I was caught.  Oh and 
then there was that summer's Luther Camp.  What a joke.  I spent more 
time in the woods than the animals did but somehow never got caught.  
Nevey, God bless her, even made a two pack special delivery the 
second week when the third pack of my original stash was about to run 
out.    

One night toward the end of summer when Nevey was out with friends, 
Uncle Rod walked in drunk and seemed to realize for the first time 
that I was smoking.  He'd seen me before but maybe it just didn't 
register.  Not a brain surgeon he.  Anyhow he was really mean drunk 
that night and said something about wouldn't my folks be interested 
in knowing.  I truthfully didn't give a damn whether they did or not 
but never-the-less I blurted back 'Great and maybe we should also 
tell them about the time you tried crawling in bed with me, prickhead.
'  He stared back at me like a deer in headlights and nothing more 
was said.  "So anyhow ..."

"Stop, stop, stop" I pleaded with Serena "Can't you see you're 
killing me?"  

"Well I'll be god damned" she responded.  I've never been around a 
guy before with your powers of recuperation Simon.  Why don't you 
just lie yourself right down there on the floor with a couple of 
pillows and mommy'll slip onto something comfortable.  That way I'll 
get to know what exactly excites Simon Jr. a little more intimately.  
In the meantime my tits are getting kind of cold.  You wouldn't mind 
warming them up a little would you?" she asked as she bent forth 
these two fleshy monuments burying my face in her decidedly chilled 
cleavage.  

"So where was I?" she continued gently rocking to and fro.  "Oh yeah. 
 Summer after seventh grade.  By the time that school came around and 
eighth grade started, smoking was no longer such a take it or leave 
it deal.  Even though I'd usually headed right over to Nevey's the 
year before, it really hadn't been totally compulsive but from the 
first day of classes that year, I realized I had a problem.  All 
summer I'd had a couple of cigarettes by lunch time and at least a 
couple more by mid afternoon.  To complicate things even a little bit 
more, I'd started drinking coffee the past few weeks since it tasted 
so pleasant along with a cigarette but that took my mornings alone up 
to sometimes four or five cigarettes and my days to ... well you know.
  So all in all, my smoking had really blossomed.  

Now here it was lunch time on the first day of school and I didn't 
give a flying fuck about eating, I just wanted a cigarette like never 
before.  Of course I wasn't carrying them with me so I couldn't have 
had one anyhow and even if I had had them, I wouldn't have known 
where to go.  The girl's room was just too passé and the parking lot 
across the street was for scum bags.  Packing them with me to school 
didn't sound like a very smart idea but then again there was no way I 
was going to cope with these heebie jeebies everyday either. 

There was this whole issue of how I saw myself and how I wanted 
others to see me that I needed to deal with.  Until the past few 
weeks I'd seen no need to decompartmentalize.  With Neve I was a 
smoker; elsewhere I wasn't.  I'd begun to muddy things up though a 
few times just before Labor Day when I'd had a couple of cigarettes 
at the beach with Nevey.  Hers, not mine, none-the-less it was 
smoking in public.  And come to think of it there was that Camp 
experience too.  It's just that carrying cigarettes with me would be 
a full admission that my smoking wasn't just conditional.  That 
wasn't an issue I'd had to face ... that is until now.  It's about 
all I thought about during sixth period.  No fuckin' way was my 
smoking conditional anymore.   

Three fifteen came and I just about annihilated the hall patrol geeks 
getting out of class and making a beeline for Neve's.  To my dismay 
when I got there she wasn't home and I didn't have my key with me.  I 
know I was desperate enough to have broken a window to get in but 
fortunately the backdoor wasn't locked.  I'd found my cigarettes and 
lit one before even setting down my books or taking off my coat, 
already finishing my third one as Neve walked in to the background of 
the clock striking four.  Feeling immensely better, I helped her 
unload the car.  And as we both sat down again, the three fresh butts 
in my ashtray lay there tellingly.

"Nic fit huh?" she said obviously amused.  "Looks like its got your 
number kid.  I kind of suspected the past few weeks that you were 
getting pretty hooked.  That coffee and a cigarette routine is 
usually a pretty telltale clue and then bumming from me at the beach 
too.  But then there's nothing like a good old 'no smoking' situation 
to confirm it for sure though, is there honey?  Remember Camp?  
School must have been pretty rough today by the looks of that ashtray?
 she chuckled but not with malice.

"Jesus Christ, you can say that again.  From about eleven o'clock on 
I couldn't get it out of my head that I wanted a cigarette" I fired 
back with staccato little exhales of smoke separately underscoring 
every word.  "It was pure hell" I finished, taking yet another soul 
satisfying drag. 

"Needed, not wanted" she corrected.  "My dear little niece, last year,
 when you still had a choice, you wanted a cigarette, now you balls-
out need one.  You're hooked babykins.  Got it?  Smoking's no longer 
going to be just a play thing.  When you can't smoke you'll turn into 
a witch and it will start to really determine a lot about the things 
you do and the folks you hang out with.  Welcome to the club honey.  
There's a lot of us in it.  Of course" she continued "I suppose you 
could quit cold turkey right now if you wanted to" her smile not well 
contained.  "You could do that now, couldn't you?" she chided turning 
around to hide her amusement.

"Fuck yourself Neveykins" I rejoined expressing my lack of amusement. 
 "You know as well as I do that that's pure bullshit.  I doubt that I 
could quit a hell of a lot easier now than you could and you know 
damn well that you couldn't."  This all blurted out while lighting my 
fifth cigarette in not much more than an hour from the embers of the 
fourth.  "I had no way of knowing how easily these things can addict 
you?  But I bet you knew that this would happen to me, didn't you 
Aunty Neve?  How come you let me start any way?  It's all your damn 
fault" I bellyached.  

But before Serena could give me Nevey's response "Excuse me please 
Serena" I interrupted.  "I'm about to make another deposit.  Why 
don't you take a little break, lean yourself back a little bit, and 
ride along for the come."  So instructed she began a mantra of 
"orgasm" starting quietly and climaxing two minutes later in an 
explosion reportable by Mr. Richter.   

A few breathless minutes later she started up again but not without a 
little commentary.  "You certainly have your own way of interrupting" 
she began "or maybe more like inner-erupting.  Don't stop though.  I 
love it.  I've never gotten this much dick in my life.  When I finish 
with my story I just might start inventing new stuff just to see what 
kind of endurance you really have.  Of course that's presuming that I 
have the endurance as well.  It's never been quite tested like this 
before." 

"Well Aunty Neve blew off my accusations" Serena continued.  "She 
knew that I knew that it was all bullshit anyhow.  That from that 
first day offered, I'd never looked back.  And she'd nailed me cold 
with that nic fit comment.  I was big-time hooked and feeling 
confused about it.  I really loved everything about smoking.  The 
social ritual, the adult feel, the quasi-nautiness, that it kept me 
from snacking, and obviously now the physical cravings and the 
ensuing relief as well.  

The truth was that I wasn't pissed at Nevey for getting me started, I 
frankly appreciated it and any thought of quitting just was pure 
nonsense.  But there now were certainly some unplanned complications. 
 Here I was only in eighth grade and I couldn't last all day without 
a cigarette.  Hell, I probably couldn't make the noon hour but I was 
loathe to hang with the lowlifes that openly smoked around school.  I 
needed a more couth solution.

The first one that came to mind was stockpiling of sorts.  I'd go 
back to having a couple of cigarettes in the morning - with how much 
I'd really gotten to enjoy them with coffee during August, this was 
about the easiest sell you'll ever find ... in hopes of staving off 
late morning cravings.  This necessitated getting up at five thirty 
and high tailing it over to Neve's before school.  Progressively it 
just meant staying at Neve's most of the time.  The reality of the 
solution was however the opposite of the desired reaction.  Morning 
smoking just increased my dependency.  I didn't acknowledge it 
immediately or maybe didn't want to recognize it at the time, but it 
just geometrically deepened the need.  

The next step further compounded.  No less desperate than before for 
a noontime cigarette, maybe more so, I now managed to finagle it so 
that I could get Nevey to pick me up for an off campus 'lunch' nearly 
everyday.  She took some snide pleasure in my predicament but she was 
understandably accommodating none-the-less.  With a cigarette each 
way in the car and a couple at the house, the afternoons were 
bearable.  In tandem, these two activities did get me by until 
Christmas.  The holidays however provided their own problems.

I decided that it was time to break the news to my parents.  I 
wouldn't be able to handle the day long events without a cigarette, 
especially when Nevey would be there smoking.  They ranted and raved 
but as I fully knew there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it. 
 Not with the minute amount of time they had to attend to me.  They 
made up some silly rules about where and when and in front of whom 
which weren't enforced even day one.  I smoked in my room incessantly,
 at the table after dinner, and studying or watching TV.  And from 
the following year on in an apartment that they built for me atop the 
garage.  

Aunty Neve thought this was all so cool and took credit (I guess 
appropriately) for my newfound delinquency.  Even if she hadn't 
though, my folks would have assigned her the blame.  They of course 
were guiltless.  She did kind of let them off the hook though.  As it 
turned out 'fessing up proved to be the right thing to do 'cause 
Nevey fully intended to 'out' me anyhow.  If I hadn't told them 
already, the two cartons of Bensons & Hedges that "Aunty Santa" left 
under the tree would have been hard to explain.  As it was they were 
warmly welcomed by me and disdained by my parents to Nevey's delight. 
 

Her other gift however was the show stopper.  When I'd first begun 
smoking she'd given me a handful of Bic's to stick in my purse - come 
to think of it she also gave me my first purse - but whenever the 
chance provided I'd use her elegant Calibri lighter.  I thought that 
firing up it was better than smoking itself.  As I opened the smaller 
gift from her, my hopes were high and soared further when the jewelry 
box emerged.  When I opened it up and found not only a Calibri 
lighter, but one with my initials engraved, I shrieked with joy and 
kissed her on the lips.  No one could remember ever having seen that 
much emotion from me.  Whatever line there was that demarked smoker, 
I was surely now across it and solidly in Nevey's camp.  She gloated 
uncontained.       

But now on to January which was pure hell.  With three cigarettes in 
the morning, four at lunch, and nonstop smoking after school the past 
couple of months, I was now actually going through upwards of a pack 
a day.  Over the holidays and what with the two or three a day that 
my eleven year old sister Analise thought she was successfully 
sneaking, there were days when even one pack didn't do it.  

That day in mid January when I walked into the girl's room after 
first period and lit up, it was curtains, no questions asked.  I got 
busted like I knew I would but I really didn't care.  I had to have a 
cigarette and there was no longer any way I could last three god damn 
hours at a stretch.  When I was busted again after third period they 
marched me to the office and called home.  With no one there they 
called Nevey who cheerfully came and got me, stubbing her cigarette 
out on the school's front steps where moments later we both lit up.  
Marching down the steps, cigarette in hand as many classmates watched 
out the window, was perhaps the most soul satisfying 'fuck you' of my 
life.  The only shadow was an impending showdown with my folks.     

Holding court in the kitchen that evening, cigarette conspicuously 
and constantly in hand, as my folks read me the riot act, it was 
clear I needed a new paradigm.  This classroom shit had to go unless 
of course I could somehow smoke in class.  With that momentary flash 
of brilliant inspiration - smoking in class - new options unfolded.  
There were indeed several expensive private schools where smoking was 
actually permitted.  If the parents were willing to fork over that 
much cash and didn't care if their kid smoked, who was the school to 
interfere, right?  And for the following three and a half years I 
attended Annie Brooks Academy and for that matter so did Analise.  If 
it sounds like the numbers don't add up it was only three and half 
because I got college acceptance a year early."

"Are my eyes deceiving me" Serena interjected "but is that yet 
another renaissance?"  "Afraid so" I replied.  "Any special requests 
this time" she retorted.  "I don't know but why don't you come over 
here and sit in my lap while I think about it" I suggested and 
agreeably she did so along with yet another freshly lit cigarette.  
As she wrapped her shapely legs around me and homed into the berth, 
she also began a new practice.  Rather than the Rita Hayworth profile 
exhales, she locked lips with me and breathed her smoke deeply into 
my lungs.  Having personally quit several years before myself, my 
knee jerk reaction was to repel but the eroticism of trading back and 
forth that smoky warmth captured me instantly.  Another bizarre yet 
beguiling form of intimacy.

Locked in this embrace, she shared the final school girl episode.  
"You can imagine" she said "the degree of dependence that you develop 
on smoking when your entire teen years you smoke freely and 
frequently.  With the freedom to smoke at school, I never drifted 
again below the pack a day level and often drifted well above.  I 
can't even honestly remember a time in my life when I didn't smoke.  
In high school the guys didn't give a shit.  When they're getting 
head, it's not such a big issue for them.  But then I guess I don't 
need to tell you that.  But the guys I dated in college start handing 
out shit over it and they just didn't understand how much a part of 
me smoking is.  

And so today I find you.  Not only do you not mind smoking, it gets 
your rocks off at a prodigious pace.  I'm still not sure whether or 
not it's perverted, but I'm damn sure that I like it.  I've never 
spent a day in my life quite like this before but I'm ready to spend 
more.  Even these full strength cigarettes are giving me a kind of 
buzz I haven't felt in ages.  I've got to say that even if I never 
see you again in my life, which by the way I'm not suggesting, you've 
left me with a gift.  Admit that smoking is a part of me and if that 
doesn't work for some guy, then who he can fuck is himself.  Now I 
have one final request.  Before you explode one more time, how about 
showing me your bedroom and paying a little homage to convention?  I 
can smoke on my back too you know.  With or without a cigarette."     

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