The Affair, Part 3

    This story contains adult language and themes. If such language and themes
offend you, please do not read further. Copyright 1997 by SSTORYMAN. All
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    THE AFFAIR


    3. Caught in the Trap.

    Sunday morning. Eleven o'clock. A knock on Anne's door. She was in her
pajamas, drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper. "Who is it?" she
shouted.

    "It's Hope," came the answer. "Can I come in?"

    Anne opened the door. Hope was dressed up, wearing a green skirt and red
plaid top. It complemented her red hair. She looks adorable, Anne thought.

    Hope closed the door. "Mom dropped me off at home after church," she
gasped. "She's going to work. Thank God! I waited until her car was gone
before coming over." She sat down. "God, do I need a cigarette!"

    "How would the people at church feel about you smoking at age 15?" Anne
asked with a sarcastic tone.

    "They don't know, and who the hell cares?" Hope replied, sitting and
removing a cigarette from her pack, sticking it in her mouth. "I hope it gives
them all heart failure!" She flicked the lighter and lit the cigarette. She
took a long, deep drag and inhaled the smoke. She immediately followed with a
second drag, as hard or perhaps harder than the first, again sucking smoke
into her lungs. With each drag her chest visibly expanded to receive the
smoke, causing her ample breasts to rise up inside her plaid top. Finally Hope
removed the cigarette from her mouth, relaxed her muscles, and began to
exhale.

    "This one tastes so good!" she exclaimed. "And it's cold outside. It's
great to be able to smoke inside." Hope paused as she took another hit. She
looked at the ashtray on the table. It had several butts in it. "Have you been
smoking?"

    Anne smiled. "Yeah, I've had a couple," she admitted slyly. "But I should
tell you what happened last night."

    Hope brightened. "Don't tell me. You went out with John?"

    "No, nothing that exciting," Anne replied. "I called my old roommate
Gretchen. She smokes. She's the only friend I have who does. We went drinking
together."

    "Wow, that's cool," Hope replied with a hint of envy. "I wish I was old
enough to do that. Alcohol and nicotine. Wow! What a rush! So you smoked?"

    "Yes, I did," said Anne.

    "Well, how did it go?"

    Anne picked up her pack of Marlboro Light 100's sitting on the table. She
casually pulled out a cigarette and lit up. She took an initial drag, made a V
with her fingers, removing the burning cylinder while she inhaled. "I can't do
that double-pump thing you do, Hope," she admitted while holding the smoke
inside. "At least not yet."

    "I only do it when I haven't had a cigarette for awhile," Hope smiled. She
watched Anne exhale a thin stream. "When I'm desperate for nicotine. So, what
happened?"

    "Gretchen and I had dinner. I told her about John. I smoked one cigarette
before dinner. After dinner we had drinks. Gretchen really started smoking.
One after the other. I decided to try to keep up. I lit up whenever she did.
It wasn't hard. It seemed ... natural to light up when she did. By the end of
the evening, I finished my first pack!"

    "Jesus!" Hope exclaimed.

    Anne smiled. "I was surprised. I thought, Anne, you smoked twenty
cigarettes today! I was out so Gretchen let me try hers. Benson & Hedges
Menthol 100's. They were different."

    "Menthol," Hope nodded knowingly.

    "Yeah, she warned me they taste different. Cooler. They seemed stronger,
too. I kind of liked them."

    "Well," Hope smiled. "That's interesting. How do you feel about it now?
You've been smoking for all of twenty four hours," she added sarcastically.

    Anne brushed her hair back and frowned. "It was fun smoking with Gretchen.
But I don't feel a need to smoke. I do it because I need practice. But there's
no great desire. No craving. At least not like you described."

    Hope took a drag on her cigarette and deposited it in the ashtray. "Well,
that's not bad. Maybe you're a lucky one. They say some people never get
addicted to nicotine. They can take it or leave it." She laughed. "But I'm not
one of them."

    Anne shrugged. "I'm almost disappointed. You know what I mean? Once I got
started I thought I'd have this overwhelming urge to smoke. I don't. But
Gretchen does. She tried to quit once but couldn't. She wanted to keep smoking
more than anything. Even though she was smoking too much and it was bad for
her health. There's something almost appealing about that kind of passion."

    Anne sighed and changed the subject. "Hope, are you going to bring your
friend over? As long as I'm contributing to the delinquency of minors, I'd
like to meet her."

    Hope smiled. "Hang on a second." She lit up a second cigarette before
answering. "Is it okay if I keep smoking?"

    "Go ahead," Anne answered. "I should join you. I've only had two
cigarettes so far today." She lit up a cigarette and took a medium-sized puff.
"It's more fun smoking with someone," she added as she exhaled. "So, is your
friend coming over?"

    "No," Hope replied sadly. "I called Beth. But she's at some family event.
Poor kid. Probably can't smoke all day." Hope took another hit. "I feel sorry
for her. But she wants to come. We'll smoke with you if Mom's not here." She
paused to exhale. "Maybe Beth can come home after school tomorrow and spend
the night. Mom'll be working late every night 'til April 15th. Everybody needs
taxes done this time of year!"

    "Not tomorrow," Anne said slowly. "If it works, I hope to bring John over
tomorrow night." She flashed a Cheshire-cat smile. "I asked him to meet me
after work. To discuss an important matter."

    "You are devious!" Hope grinned. "Okay. I'll tell Beth your condo is in
use tomorrow. How about Tuesday?"

    "That'd be okay. " Anne took a drag and inhaled. She held the smoke longer
than usual, and then slowly exhaled through her nose.

    "Wow," Hope exclaimed. "I'm impressed. You weren't doing that yesterday!"

    Anne blushed. "I've been experimenting with different ways of exhaling. I
like watching the smoke come out of my nose. Do you think it looks okay?"

    Hope nodded. "Yeah, you catch on quick. Some girls at school, when they
first start, hold their cigarettes like they're afraid. Like they don't know
what to do with 'em. But you look perfectly natural, Anne."

    Anne took another drag, breathed the smoke into her lungs, and then tipped
her head back to exhale a steady stream of smoke into the air. "John wants a
smoker," she said, interrupting her exhale. "And I want to give him what he
wants!"

   
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    It was almost noon on Monday. Robin waited for Carl Anderson to leave
Anne's office. She wondered why Anne was talking to him behind closed doors.
They'd been busy all morning. A new case had been filed against GTS and Anne
spent most of the morning reviewing the complaint and talking to various
people in the company to obtain background on the dispute. Anne seemed
unusually stressed.

    Mr. Anderson left. Anne motioned Robin to come in.

    "Robin, can we catch lunch together today? I need to talk about a couple
things."

    Robin hesitated. "Sure," she replied. This was unlike Anne. It worried
her. Had she screwed up?

    "Don't worry," Anne reassured her, seeing Robin's look of distress. "It's
not a problem. I just need to bring you up to speed on a couple things."

    They left shortly after twelve. Anne wanted to drive to a restaurant
farther away from the office. That, too, was unusual. Anne usually ate at a
restaurant within walking distance. For some reason she wanted to go elsewhere
today. Robin was intrigued. Perhaps it was something top-secret.

    Upon arriving, they approached the hostess stand. When asked for a seating
preference, Anne spoke quickly. "Smoking, please."

    Oh, God, thought Robin. Why is Anne sitting in the smoking section? She
doesn't smoke. It's going to make lunch very difficult. Robin wanted to avoid
the smell of cigarette smoke. But she was afraid to tell her boss. She
followed Anne and the hostess into the smoking section.

    The smoking section was crowded. The haze in the air was palpable, and
every wisp of smoke which drifted her way made Robin cringe. She sighed. As
she sat down, she opened her purse and got out a stick of gum. Her omnipresent
coping mechanism.

    Anne opened her purse and placed a pack of Marlboro Light 100's on the
table. Robin was shocked. "Anne," she sputtered. "Do you ...? Do you smoke?
No, wait a minute. I know you don't. We went drinking together. You didn't
smoke then!"

    Anne smiled and spoke in a soft whisper. "That's what I wanted to talk
about. I never smoked before, but believe it or not I just started. I figured
I'd have one over lunch. I hope you don't mind sitting in the smoking section.
I should have asked first."

    Robin was speechless. How could she object? Anne was her boss.

    Robin was afraid Anne would light up. She wasn't sure how she'd handle the
temptation. Surprisingly, however, Anne didn't. The cigarettes just sat on the
table. Robin breathed a sigh of relief. For the moment.

    "Gosh, I had no idea," Robin finally stammered. "What on earth made you
decide to smoke? Starting at your age is a little unusual."

    "I'm not that old," Anne grinned. "Let me tell you the story." She
explained how she'd had her eyes on John Crawford. She told about her meeting
with John on Friday night, and how she started smoking with Hope on Saturday
morning.

    Robin was both horrified and amazed. But she couldn't help smiling. "Anne,
that is so weird! Imagine a guy who wants you to smoke and won't get involved
unless you do! God, I've never heard of that." And she almost added: I'd love
to go out with a guy like that! Before she said it, she stopped. Because that
was the old Robin, the smoker.

    "It is weird, isn't it? So I'm working on it. I've gone out with lots of
guys, Robin. And I've fucked lots of guys .... You know what I mean. But
John's different. He's smart, he's funny, he's considerate, he's not bad
looking. I'll do whatever I need to do. Married or not. I don't think his
marriage is going to last anyway."

    Robin shook her head. Anne had determination. You had to admire it.

    Anne lowered her voice. "There are two reasons I wanted to talk away from
the office. First, in case John says anything to you about having the hots for
him, I want you to play along. The official story is that it's you, not me,
who wants to get him into bed. If he says something when you answer my phone,
don't play dumb. Play coy, like you're interested. At least 'til I let him
know that it's me, not you, who wants him. Okay?

    Robin smiled. "Sure. No problem."

    . "Thanks. Second, I have a favor to ask. I need you to do something that
I'm afraid to do myself. Could you make some discrete inquiries for me?"

    Robin nodded. "Detective work? Find out something about John?"

    "No," Anne smiled. "Nothing like that. See, I need to practice smoking.
Until I smoke with John, Hope says I should smoke as much as possible to gain
experience. I want to smoke during the day. I can't smoke in the office. But
GTS people must smoke somewhere on their breaks. I need to know where. And I'd
like to know who the smokers are. I've never paid attention to it before."

    "I don't get it. Why do you need to know who else smokes?"

    Anne laughed. "Because I can't go alone! I need someone to take me with
them when they go. So I don't look stupid. Could you snoop around and get
names of other mid and upper level management people who smoke? And where they
go to smoke?"

    Robin turned pale. She didn't want to know. Ignorance was bliss as far as
she was concerned. Her frayed nerves showed when she answered. "Well, what
excuse do you want me to use? I mean, why am I supposed to want to know who
smokes and where they go for smoke breaks?"

    Before Anne answered, the waitress came to take their order. After brief
consultation, Anne and Robin ordered salads.

    Anne started in again after the waitress left. "I'll tell you. Talk to the
other secretaries and administrative assistants. Tell 'em that you smoke but
you're nervous about smoking on breaks. You want to know whether any
management people in the company smoke. How's that?"

    Robin hesitated. "Okay, I guess." She paused. She wasn't happy. If she
told anyone she smoked, she was afraid it would become a self-fulfilling
prophecy. But she didn't object. For now.

    Anne looked at the table. "Oh, God! I should smoke a cigarette before our
salads come. I forgot." She extracted one from her pack. "You don't mind, do
you?"

    Robin smiled weakly. God, this was difficult! "No, of course not. Go
ahead." What else could she say? Robin put another stick of gum in her mouth
and chewed furiously.

    Into her mouth Anne put a cigarette. She fumbled in her purse for the
lighter. Robin smiled. An experienced smoker would never get out her
cigarettes without her lighter, she observed. Anne flicked the lighter. Robin
watched her connect for a good, even light and take a good-sized drag. Anne
inhaled the smoke while setting her lighter on the table. Then she tipped her
head and exhaled a stream of smoke into the already smoky restaurant air.
Robin watched carefully, and Anne noticed the attention.

    "Am I doing okay? I'm still new at this," Anne grinned apologetically.

    "No, you look perfectly natural." Robin watched Anne take a second hit.
She felt jealous. She imagined the pleasure Anne was experiencing while
inhaling smoke into her lungs. "But it's bad for you, you know," she added.
Robin felt guilty adding that comment, but knew it would make it more
difficult to ask for a cigarette for herself.

    "Oh, yeah, I know," Anne admitted, exhaling to the side this time. "Maybe
I should be worried, but I'm not. I look at it this way. I know what I want
and I'm going to get it. That's why I'm smoking. The only reason. If I don't
get it or if I change my mind, I'll quit. If I decide not to quit, it'll be
because I want to keep smoking." She smiled. "I believe in getting what you
want, Robin. If you want it bad enough, it's worth any risk."

    Robin was surprised by Anne's candor. "But do you like smoking, Anne?"

    Anne tapped ashes into the ashtray. "You know, it's funny. At first I
didn't. It tasted bitter. I thought, what's the big deal? Smoking's not that
great. But the longer I smoke, the more I like it. This is the first cigarette
I've had since breakfast. I'm enjoying it. It tastes good. Smoking seems to
relax me. As busy as I am, I need relaxation! I'm starting to understand why
people like smoking. And why John doesn't want to give it up." She paused. "I
suppose that sounds terrible."

    Robin hesitated. "No, I understand." Believe me, I understand, she
thought. Robin took the plunge. "Did you know I used to smoke?" she asked
innocently.

    "No kidding?" Anne replied as she puffed again. "For very long?"

    "For six years," Robin replied simply.

    "That's a long time. Did you smoke a lot?"

    "Over a pack a day."

    "Do you miss it?" Anne asked.

    "No," Robin lied. "I'm glad to be done with the stupid habit!"

    "That's interesting. A friend of mine told me she couldn't quit. She
missed it too much. You've given me comfort, Robin. It shows it is possible to
quit if you want to. Not that I'm sure I'll want to." She took another drag
and tapped her ashes into the ashtray. "Because so far it feels good to
smoke."

    Despite her calm exterior, Robin was screaming inside her head: I know!
God, do I know! She chewed her gum harder.

    Anne noticed a strange look in Robin's eyes, and the way she was
frantically chewing her gum. "Are you upset, Robin? Is my smoke upsetting
you?"

    "No. I mean, yes." Robin hesitated. "God, Anne, I don't know."

    "What's wrong, Robin?"

    Robin made a decision. She had to tell Anne the whole truth. She took a
deep breath. "Anne, I lied to you just now. I only quit smoking a month ago
and I'm not happy about it. I smoked every day for six years, over a pack a
day, and I loved it. I still think about it constantly. I quit because my mom
gave me grief and because at my old job I couldn't smoke. I got tired of
dealing with all the shit. I knew smoking wasn't good for me, but that's not
why I quit." She looked at Anne's cigarette. "I quit because I was a coward.
I'm not sure I made the right decision."

    Feelings of guilt flooded over Anne. She realized she was tempting Robin.
Although not done, Anne immediately crushed her cigarette in the ashtray.

    "I'm so sorry, Robin. It never occurred to me this would be a problem for
you. Please forgive me. Let's just forget it. You don't need to help me find
anything out."

    Robin sighed. "Anne, it's not your fault. There's nothing to forgive. I
just want a cigarette so bad," she whined. "When I see people smoking, it
pushes all my buttons."

    Anne picked up her pack of cigarettes and her lighter. She began putting
them in her purse. Robin stopped her.

    "Anne, don't! Please." She took a deep breath. "You don't understand. I'm
not asking you to put them away. That's not what I want. What I really want is
.... What I mean is .... God!" She took another deep breath. "Could I have a
cigarette?"

    "Robin, no! I won't encourage you to start smoking again!"

    "Anne, you're not. Believe me, I've thought about this. I fought it for
four weeks. It's not working. I can't win. I need to face facts. I'm a smoker.
I'll always be a smoker. I'm addicted. I'm kidding myself if I think I can
quit. I can't. Shit, I don't want to. I want a cigarette!" She stared
longingly at her. "Please let me have one."

    Anne felt a strange and wicked satisfaction. It was fun watching her
assistant beg her for a cigarette. "Robin, are you sure?" she asked with a
smile.

    Robin nodded her head. "I've never been as sure of anything in my life.
Just give me a fuckin' cigarette! Let me get the charade over with. I can't
take it anymore."

    Anne put her cigarettes back on the table. Robin picked up the pack. She
slowly turned it over and looked at it. "Marlboro Light 100's. My old brand,"
she smiled. She tapped out a cigarette and put it in her mouth, letting it
hang there for several moments.

    Had it been for nothing? The pain she'd endured over the last four weeks?
No. It hadn't. It had a purpose. Now Robin understood herself. She'd tried to
quit and failed. But so what? It only meant she was a smoker. Now she knew
that. And the agony of the last month would only increase the pleasure she'd
experience in the next few moments.

    She raised the lighter, pushed the button and turned the wheel. The flame
erupted. For a moment Robin stared at it. Her hand shook with anticipation.
She touched the flame to the tip of the cigarette hanging from her lips.
Immediately she tasted smoke. Oh, how she'd missed that taste! Instinctively,
she took a hard drag and let her mouth fill with as much smoke as it would
hold. She deliberately inhaled the smoke, pulling it deep into her lungs. It
felt so good! A glorious feeling overwhelmed her as the thick, rich tobacco
smoke filled her hungry lungs! Without waiting, Robin took a second, even
harder pump on the cigarette. Smoke from the first glorious inhale
involuntarily escaped from her nostrils while she inhaled the second drag as
hard and as deeply as she could.

    "Oh, my God," muttered Robin. "Oh, God! That is so damn good! So good!"
Reluctantly she slowly began to exhale. "Oh, yeah! God, I missed this! This is
so great!" She returned the cigarette to her lips and took another puff.

    Anne watched with amused interest. "Enjoying yourself?" she asked
rhetorically. "I wasn't sure if you were having an orgasm or smoking a
cigarette."

    Robin slowly allowed more inhaled smoke to escape from her nostrils. She
laughed. "You have no idea! God, it is so wonderful to be smoking again! Holy
shit! Thank you! I love it." She puffed again. With every inhale she felt
better. "I'm back. I'm smoking again. No more quitting for me."

    Suddenly she gave Anne a wicked smile. "Well, Anne, aren't you going to
join me? You lured me back. You aren't going to make me smoke alone, are you?"

    Anne smiled. "Okay, I'll join you. But I feel bad about this." She removed
another cigarette from the pack and lit up.

    "Don't feel bad. Seriously. I'm only kidding." Robin took another drag and
inhaled while she manicured her cigarette in the ashtray. "The whole time I
tried to quit, in my heart I knew I was still a smoker. In my heart I knew
this day would come, sooner or later." She stopped to exhale. "My heart was
never really into quitting."

    The waitress brought their salads. Robin looked at Anne. "Do you mind if I
smoke while we eat? I don't want to stop right now."

    They began eating and Robin finished her cigarette while she ate. Then she
asked Anne for another and smoked it to the end. Anne remembered her old
roommate Gretchen used to smoke while she ate, too.

    After lunch Robin looked expectantly at Anne. "I'll have another cigarette
if it's okay."

    "Sure," Anne replied, handing Robin her pack. It was almost empty.

    Robin noted their diminishing supply. "Let's stop at a gas station on the
way back to the office," she suggested. "I'll buy a pack for you to pay you
back, and buy a couple packs for myself. And a lighter." She lit up again and
smiled. "God, this is great! Now it'll be true when I tell people I need to
know where to go for a smoke break. I don't know about you, but I'm damn sure
I'll take a smoke break this afternoon!" She dragged hard on her cigarette,
the third in a row. "God, smoking makes me so happy! Thank you, Anne. Thank
you so much!"

    Anne smiled. She was glad Robin was pleased. She seemed relaxed, more so
than Anne had ever seen. "You're welcome. I was glad to help, I think."

    "You've been great," Robin assured her. "This was what I needed. A reality
check. Because in reality, I'm a smoker. Always have been. Always will be."
She paused and another wicked smile crept over Robin's face. She pulled her
blond hair away from her face and pointed her long, red fingernail toward her
smiling but pouting mouth. "I'll tell you something. I agree with you. John
Crawford is really cute. If it turns out he's interested in me, and not in
you, let me know. I wouldn't mind fucking him myself."

    Anne smiled. "No way, Robin. He's mine!" The smoke she'd just inhaled
soaked into her lungs. She liked smoking. Not as much as Robin, but she liked
it. She would show John this evening. Hopefully they'd wind up in bed
together.

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